Take an assignment to marry one of the most commercialized holidays with an industry known for its sanguine approach to sales and it's a lot like opening a box of chocolates -- you never know what you're gonna get.

For a Valentine's Day tribute to real estate, a quick Google search of current "valentines day real estate" hits turned up these gems.

Hey, you don't have a date! What the hell? Actor Amanda Seyfried, appearing later this month in a new movie called "Gone," wherein she gets dumped in a hole, but escapes, just got dumped by real estate broker Justin Huchel of the Hilton & Hyland Los Angeles, CA real estate firm.

Seyfried probably won't escape the rabid what-the-hell-were-you-doing-with-a-real-estate-broker-in-the-first-place? media queries like those from the New York Daily News, the tabloid that recently broke the story for its gossip page.

The point of the story is that the wide-eyed, sultry Seyfried will be broken-hearted and pining on Valentine's Day after some real estate guy dumped her like a foreclosure listing with a bad title report.

Given what's she's likely learned from the real estate broker, we think she's more apt on Valentine's Day to revive her movie role as Red Riding Hood and slay the next wolf looking for an open house.

A less bloodier shade of red is shed in a Valentine's Day greeting card offered by Wellesley, MA-based Anna Lomes, a Coldwell Banker real estate agent.

The video-generated greeting card builds a home of hearts offering a "Be Mine, Home Sweet Home" welcome sign and a bouquet of self-pampering "Home Valentine's Tips" appealing to all the senses.   Move fast and not only will you share these cute Valentine's Day wishes, you'll get Lomes' heart pumping with joy for the free marketing boost.

Not that there's anything wrong with free marketing or heavy heart pumping. Especially on Valentine's Day.

You probably waited too late to stock up on another seasonal marketing tool, Sparrow and Jacobs' real estate postcards.

The best is a post card emblazoned with those familiar candy hearts. These, however, emote "Just Listed," "Sold," and "For Sale" and the card comes with the pitch,  "Whether you're looking to buy or sell, I promise to treat you to service you'll love." Or you can add your own, like "I'll find you a sweet Dream Home," or "Kiss your listing goodbye," or the grammatically incorrect, "Home is where the heart is."   S&J also offer cards with recipes for Valentine's Day cupcakes, sugar cookies, raspberry cookie hearts, and kiss drop cookies. A real home sweet home sugar high.

Maybe you left your heart in San Francisco or love New York, but Zillow offers homes for sale in its Romantically-Named Townsreport.

There's Valentines, VA in a state with a "Virginia is for lovers" slogan. Named for its founder and first postmaster, William H. Valentine, the town continues the tradition of stamping mail around February with a special Valentine's emblem.

Also named for its founder, Malcolm Love, who purchased 236 acres of land at the turn of the 20th Century, Loves Park, IL is just 80 miles northeast of Chicago, as the cupid flies.

And everyone knows Loveland, CO, but rather than a land of love, the town is known as the "Gateway to the Rockies," and is situated at the base of the Rocky Mountain National Park. Like the other towns, it was also named for an early settler, W.A.H. Loveland (Wha?) an early railroad worker.

Finally, the Coldwell Banker-Durango, CO blog serves up a story from Colleen Lawler of Coldwell Banker Gundaker-St. Louis, MO "Valentine's Day Story of a Home."  We won't spoil the ending, but the sort of Gift of the Magi for Valentine's Day story starts like this:   "We have the world's cutest couple who both had garden style condos in the same area. She bought one and later he bought one in the same complex. As chance would have it, they met as neighbors and became friends. Turns out, being friends was only the beginning. Soon they started dating and one thing led to another and they got engaged. They contacted my team to list both of their units and get one sold so they could get a house before the wedding. Their wedding wishes were granted as we were able to sell not just one, but both units," the story begins.

As for the ending, according to the blog entry: "Hollywood is already writing the script for this romance for release on Valentine’s Day 2013."   The ending? Read it and weep (and not for the reason you might think.)

Happy Valentine's Day.

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